Garden Waste transcript

• From the Top Cat, White Tie & Tails CD.
• Read by Jenny Agutter.

I'd never had a garden, so
I smiled all summer, watched it grow.
Flowers came and flowers went
With gifts of colour, shape and scent.

And as I watched the season's turn
I knew I had a lot to learn;
One thought in my young head was placed;
One must not waste one's garden waste.

And so I bought a compost bin
And put my garden waste therein,
In hopes in time it would decay;
And so it proved; and one spring day
I spread it on my garden, so
The mulch would help my garden grow.

And so it proved, for very soon
I found I had to cut and prune.
I cut and pruned and hacked and mowed;
It seemed I had more than I'd sowed.
Still June; it seems impossible;
My compost bin's already full.
I bought a second compost bin
And put my garden waste therein,
In hopes in time it would decay
And so it proved, one autumn day.

I spread it on my garden; those
Two binfulls; how my garden grows!
And grow it did, for very soon
I found I had to cut and prune.
The garden waste that I had used
Made richer soil, which thus produced
More garden waste; what can I do?
I fill bin one; I fill bin two.

I purchased a third compost bin
And put my garden waste therein.
In hopes in time it would decay,
And so it proved, one April day;

Bed and lawn, I mulched them both
And watched in fear for signs of growth;
And grow it did, for very soon
I found I had to cut and prune
And hack and strim and mow and chop;
Another bloody bumper crop,
A vintage year for garden waste;
And soon the problem must be faced.

I make a start; I fill bin one,
Bins two and three; the work goes on,
For I have cut and gathered in Enough to fill another bin.

I went and bought bin number four
But I'll not do this anymore.
I go out every evening, late;
I sneak out through my garden gate

And lay my treasure down instead
On someone else's flower bed,
And having thus enriched their loam
I steal their slugs and take them home.
I see their gardens; how they grow!
I look at mine, and does it? No;
I watch them toil; I watch them weep;
I close my eyes and go to sleep.